Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Just A Little Bit Better

I have made some progress in the last 24 hours. I was originally going to fast but when my mom made dinner for me and insisted I eat with her I really couldn't say no. I have to be careful around her because when I first started restricting I made an ana/thinspiration journal. One morning, when she thought I had left the house, my mother went into my room and was looking through my stuff. She found what looked like a diary and opened it to find thinspo pictures and two pages of tips and tricks. The whole time I had been in my closet, and it was all I could do to stop myself from telling her she had just invaded my privacy and I knew it. She never mentioned it so neither did I, but I doubt she has forgotten.

Yeah.....so that's my little story. At the time it really pissed me off that she would read what she thought to be my journal. Who knows what else she has done. It's actually getting close to what I think is the anniversary of my struggle with food. I can't believe it has been two years of this. On the day of I'll tell you what was probably the event that started it. I was only really thin for about two months of that :( I will get there again!

  • Cereal Bar (120)
  • String Cheese (80)
  • 2 Slices of Ham (34)
  • 1/2 Cup Pasta (130)
  • Pork (42)
  • Broccoli (15)
  • 20 Jelly Beans (82)
Total = 503 calories                                             Limit = 300
Exercise = -259
Net Calories = 245

Not so bad I guess. Today could have been better but I managed not to binge so I'm definitely pleased with that :) I'll try to fast tomorrow but I can't predict if dinner will be optional or not...... My mom wont be home on Thursday or Friday so maybe I can beat my record fasting time of 43 hours? I really want to achieve a 72 hour fast!  <3


  1. good job, cali! :) my mum gets in the way of my eating too, i always imagine how lovely it'd be to get an apartment with an ED sister and have complete control and ability to plaster the walls with thinspo. lmao i wish :-) 72 hour fast sounds good! i'm planning one too, but i don't think i'm going to start until friday-ish so it runs over my weigh-in day. hope you're well lovely ♥

  2. you are such a fatass-you pro-ana girs piss me off so much! you are an insult to people suffering with eating disorders! go to hell-you desperate fat pig

    1. Thanks a ton for that negative inspiration