Tomorrow's Another Opportunity

This weekend has not been any better than the last..........well, maybe a little. I exercised more, but food-wise I ate whatever. I'll have to try harder next time, make some sort of plan I guess, learn from my mistakes. Tomorrow I'll only have tea and water if I can get away with it. I'll eat dinner ONLY if I am being urged to (my mom get suspicious easily and is always telling me I eat like crap :/ ) If it doesn't make me too weak, I'll do this for the next three days, throwing in a fruit smoothie if I need a boost. I really want to be toned for summer, and I know it's possible :) Crunches here I come!!

Hope everyone is doing well! These last few weeks of school are so torturous with summer vacation just around the corner. I want to get through them as quickly as possible, only two more years to go after this!!

Thanks for reading, and sorry for such a short and uneventful post. Nothing all that exciting is happening these days :P 

xoxo <3

Just A Little Bit Better

I have made some progress in the last 24 hours. I was originally going to fast but when my mom made dinner for me and insisted I eat with her I really couldn't say no. I have to be careful around her because when I first started restricting I made an ana/thinspiration journal. One morning, when she thought I had left the house, my mother went into my room and was looking through my stuff. She found what looked like a diary and opened it to find thinspo pictures and two pages of tips and tricks. The whole time I had been in my closet, and it was all I could do to stop myself from telling her she had just invaded my privacy and I knew it. She never mentioned it so neither did I, but I doubt she has forgotten.

Yeah.....so that's my little story. At the time it really pissed me off that she would read what she thought to be my journal. Who knows what else she has done. It's actually getting close to what I think is the anniversary of my struggle with food. I can't believe it has been two years of this. On the day of I'll tell you what was probably the event that started it. I was only really thin for about two months of that :( I will get there again!

Food:

• Cereal Bar (120)
• String Cheese (80)
• 2 Slices of Ham (34)
• 1/2 Cup Pasta (130)
• Pork (42)
• Broccoli (15)
• 20 Jelly Beans (82)

Total = 503 calories                                             Limit = 300

Exercise = -259

Net Calories = 245

Not so bad I guess. Today could have been better but I managed not to binge so I'm definitely pleased with that :) I'll try to fast tomorrow but I can't predict if dinner will be optional or not...... My mom wont be home on Thursday or Friday so maybe I can beat my record fasting time of 43 hours? I really want to achieve a 72 hour fast!  <3

Cleaning. Everything.

  Lately I have started getting really pissed if I have to deal with a messy house or a messy room. I have become like supper O.C.D (obsessive compulsive disorder) and cleaned my room and did ALL of my laundry. It's quite nice actually....usually I'm just so laaazy.                                      

  So today so far I have eaten one apple cinnamon cereal bar (140) and way to many Bits crackers. Uhgg. Can't wait until Friday so I can fast in peace!
  Kinda just lazing around the house today because I didn't feel to hot this morning....BUT I am going to ballet because taking make up classes is just so bothersome. Meh. I should probably go beg my dad to drive me. Not really looking forward to that but it simply must be done sooooo.
  I am also going to be weighing myself every Saturday morning because my house doesn't have a GODDAMN SCALE!!! But my neighbor has one so I'll just pop over there and say hi and make up some reason for being there. Excuses, excuses.

  We can do it!! Wishing you all the best of luck <3          

                                                   

<3