Sunday, May 19, 2013

Three Weeks and I'm Free!

Only three weeks left. Just. Three. Weeks. Then, no more school. For two months I don't have to sit in a classroom all day :) That makes me happy. Summer is my favorite time of the year because life feels happier, lighter, free-er, better. That's how it should be. But then again maybe it wouldn't be so amazing if I didn't spend the rest of the year wishing for it. It's like candy. If you eat it all the time it's no longer a treat. I'll just have to enjoy it while it lasts :)

I don't know what I weigh right now. Nor do I want to know. It's probably bad. When I see the number I might swear to never eat again. two hours later I'll break my promise. That's how it goes most of the time. Sometimes I am strong. I don't eat, and nothing can break me....................until something does. Then I let myself down. 

Got my period yesterday. Fuck that. I'm so frickin bloated and gross today. As usual I got a fat pimple in the middle of my face. Yay for hormones. I haven't restricted since Thursday. I have three hours of ballet rehearsal tomorrow. I think I need to go to bed early tonight.

Just so you all know, I have no intention to stop blogging. I realize my posts are less frequent these days, but I'm not going to dwindle out on you guys :) This blog is just getting started, and the people who are currently following me are amazing. Thanks Loves!!


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Day By Day

Good evening lovelies! Yesterday and today went well. I didn't drink any tea, actually, but only ate dinner and drank water. I've been feeling really weak today, which doesn't usually happen when I restrict. Maybe my body just isn't used to it............ I dunno. I'm thinking I'll prepare my food for Friday the night before so that I have everything I am going to eat planned out and ready. I'm trying to experiment to find out what works on the days I don't have school. 

My weight today was 121.6 pounds in the morning and the 121.0 when I got home. I'm trying for 120 by the end of tomorrow and over the four days I don't have school maybe I'll get a three pound drop :) If I really keep inspired and on track I think I can make this weekend a successful one! 

Lots going on with ballet theses days in preparation for our show :) Today, we spent most of class going over choreography and staging because the performance is in only two weeks!! My pre-pointe's have broken in a little so they are softer and don't hurt my feet as much. I'm still not sure if I'll be wearing them for the show............I should probably ask about that XD

Have I told you how much I want school to be over? If only it was summer already :P
Hope you all have a fantastic week!! <3

Monday, May 13, 2013

Tomorrow's Another Opportunity

This weekend has not been any better than the last..........well, maybe a little. I exercised more, but food-wise I ate whatever. I'll have to try harder next time, make some sort of plan I guess, learn from my mistakes. Tomorrow I'll only have tea and water if I can get away with it. I'll eat dinner ONLY if I am being urged to (my mom get suspicious easily and is always telling me I eat like crap :/ ) If it doesn't make me too weak, I'll do this for the next three days, throwing in a fruit smoothie if I need a boost. I really want to be toned for summer, and I know it's possible :) Crunches here I come!!

Hope everyone is doing well! These last few weeks of school are so torturous with summer vacation just around the corner. I want to get through them as quickly as possible, only two more years to go after this!!
Thanks for reading, and sorry for such a short and uneventful post. Nothing all that exciting is happening these days :P 

xoxo <3

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Three Days, Three Pounds

I'm sure you can see from the title that I have lost three pounds as of today. That puts me back at 120 lbs, and I intend to lose more over the next few weeks. The weekends are the struggle. Recently, I have been losing weight during the week (Tue-Thur for me) and then putting it back on over the weekend due to sugary and unhealthy binge-foods. If I can get through these next four days doing just as good as the days I go to school and have ballet, then I'm sure I can be a lot lower by next week :)

Today I actually ate a little more than usual in an attempt at a scheduled binge. My aim was to speed up my metabolism and get it out of restriction mode, as well as to curb some cravings so they don't pop up over the weekend. I have a Pilates class first thing tomorrow morning and then I'll play some Just Dance :) I need to really distract myself because I'll be home all day and food will be so tempting. Wish me luck for the weekend :P

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Not Much to Report

Hello! Nothing major or drastic has happened in the last few days so I don't really have much to say. I haven't eaten much today. No breakfast or lunch, and half of a large sandwich for dinner. I'm actually eating jellybeans at the moment........not the best idea, but it's quite difficult to resist sugar :/ Judging by my weight this morning I have lost about a pound since yesterday. Hopefully there will be a better number tomorrow. I played some Just Dance with my little brother and sister for about a half hour. Damn! I get so sweaty from that game :) I had two hours of ballet before that so I've probably burnt off most of my calories.

By the way if you read this feel free to drop me a comment! I love to hear from you guys. Makes it feel like I'm not just talking to an empty room.............unless it really is an empty room XD

~Anywho...... <3

Monday, May 6, 2013

Vintage Thinspiration

I have been pigging out HARDCORE today. It is Sunday (my treat day), but I think maybe I took it too far.......
On the bright-side, we got the Wii game Just Dance and it's actually a really fun way to exercise :) My plan for tomorrow looks like a water and fruit. I really need a day of simple, non-processed food. The wedding trip was a lot of unhealthy foods and sugar. I never really binged or overate, but everything was pretty fattening, and frankly it made me a little sick. My body just feels better when I eat healthy..........more pure.

Only five more weeks of school left!! I wish I could just fast forward and get this all over with. High-school really is a drag when you're tired of dealing with the people there. It feels like I'm just wasting my time. I wanna be in college already!!

The actual wedding was nice. I got to meet a lot of relatives for the first time and my grandma (she took us) practically word-barfed nonstop the entire day. By "word-barf" I mean she told me a ton of stuff about her past and all the houses she lived in. I think it was mostly for herself but she directed it all at me because I happened to be in the passenger seat. So much freaking word-barf. It was mostly irrelevant :P 


Friday, May 3, 2013

Wedding Trip

Hey everyone :) I'm enjoying a rare moment of SILENCE in the hotel room at the moment. My two younger siblings went down to the pool with my Grandma for a last-minute swim. It took about 4 hours to get here from where we live. It'll take another hour to get to the wedding location tomorrow. 

Food-wise, today has been okay........not the greatest, but that's a little hard on road trip when you have less control :/ The good thing is I haven't gorged on anything so the calorie count is probably manageable. I don't know what I weigh today.......but I am going to try for 115 lbs this week. Or closer to it :) 
~Bye my lovelies <3

Wednesday, May 1, 2013


Hellooo there! I haven't slipped up at all since my last post :) I'm not depriving myself too much, because that just results in binges. I had a banana for breakfast and then, when I got home at around 6:45 pm, I had an apple. My mom made dinner, which consisted of a thin piece of pork, broccoli and a little less than a cup of brown rice. I had a few pretzels afterwards, but not enough to make that big of a difference. Also, I danced in my new shoes (pre-pointe) in ballet yesterday and today. They are giving me a blister so I really need some toe-tape!! Sadly my local dance supply store NEVER has any............I'll probably just get it online. Bleh.

I weighed 121.4 lbs this morning and then 120.6 when I got home :) Maybe tomorrow I'll see the 119's? My last day of testing is tomorrow which is a relief. I can sleep in a little too, because I don't have to be there until 10 am. Yay! Hope everyone is enjoying the spring weather!! Hopefully I'll be 110 lbs in the near future so I can post some pics :)
~Lurv Ya <3