Saturday, February 23, 2013

Persistence and Consistency

I screwed up. Again. For me weekends are my weak point. No school to distract me. No dance to burn off calories. And worst of all late nights where I eat whilst everyone else sleeps. I feel fat. If I keep this up then I'm definitely on the fast track to a much higher weight. Basically what I did today was paint, watch TV shows and make endless trips to the kitchen cupboards. I feel like I have let you guys down and I am so ashamed to post today. But there is always tomorrow and anything is possible.

I didn't weigh today......I'll do that in the morning. I'm going to cry if I have gained. I think I'll go on a fruit fast starting tomorrow. Oh, and about the ABC diet...... I still would really like to do it so maybe I'll just keep doing it and forget about these past two days.

I think the reason I have been comfort/binge eating recently could have to do with some of the drama going on in my life. Like how I had a boyfriend a month ago but then his cat died and he ignored me so I got mad and stopped answering his calls and now we are currently not speaking. It's really petty, I can see that, but I am just so over him and his immature ways. We are pretty much polar opposites and I've found that we have very little, if anything, in common. So, rant over.

The visions of a thigh gap and a flat stomach keep taunting me as I realize the mistake I have made. I don't need food to be happy. I don't need food to feel comfort. I don't need food except right before ballet and occasionally throughout the week. What I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't have to depend of food. Eat to live, don't live to eat. I will do better tomorrow. For your sake, for the sake of this blog and for a thinner future, where you actually will be able to call me skinny :)

~Good luck and Goodnight <3



  1. Replies
    1. Thanks I'll try! Yours is the first comment I've gotten by the way :)

  2. You're doing well, Cali, keep going! :) I'm starting the ABC Diet tomorrow so I'm sure I'll find out how hard it is soon enough. Good luck, & I love your blog! ♥