Three Days, Three Pounds

I'm sure you can see from the title that I have lost three pounds as of today. That puts me back at 120 lbs, and I intend to lose more over the next few weeks. The weekends are the struggle. Recently, I have been losing weight during the week (Tue-Thur for me) and then putting it back on over the weekend due to sugary and unhealthy binge-foods. If I can get through these next four days doing just as good as the days I go to school and have ballet, then I'm sure I can be a lot lower by next week :)

Today I actually ate a little more than usual in an attempt at a scheduled binge. My aim was to speed up my metabolism and get it out of restriction mode, as well as to curb some cravings so they don't pop up over the weekend. I have a Pilates class first thing tomorrow morning and then I'll play some Just Dance :) I need to really distract myself because I'll be home all day and food will be so tempting. Wish me luck for the weekend :P

A Clean Slate

Sometimes, when I go to bed at night, I promise myself that tomorrow I will do better. I will exercise and eat less. Sometimes I follow through, other times I don't. However, I always find it easier to start something new with a clean slate and a brand new sunrise :) For me, it is difficult to stop eating midday and starve because I have already started and it feels impossible to stop. 

Tonight I have told myself that in the morning I shall exercise and eat very little, if at all. I am going to start doing a workout in phases. Each week is a new phase and there are four weeks which get progressively harder and harder. Here is phase 1/4:

 Day 1 - 333 jumping jacks, 60 crunches, 60 squats, 6 push ups

 Day 2 - 300 jumping jacks, 50 crunches, 50 squats, 5 push ups
 Day 3 - 250 jumping jacks, 40 crunches, 40 squats, 4 push ups
 Day 4 - 233 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 30 squats, 3 push ups
 Day 5 - 200 jumping jacks, 20 crunches, 20 squats, 2 push ups
 Day 6 - 100 jumping jacks, 10 crunches, 10 squats, 2 push ups
 Day 7 - Rest day. Take advantage of this day. Each faze gets harder. 6 push ups

I'm going to try this. Anyone who wants to join me is very welcome to do so :) Now, to get some sleep for tomorrow.

Persistence and Consistency

I screwed up. Again. For me weekends are my weak point. No school to distract me. No dance to burn off calories. And worst of all late nights where I eat whilst everyone else sleeps. I feel fat. If I keep this up then I'm definitely on the fast track to a much higher weight. Basically what I did today was paint, watch TV shows and make endless trips to the kitchen cupboards. I feel like I have let you guys down and I am so ashamed to post today. But there is always tomorrow and anything is possible.

I didn't weigh today......I'll do that in the morning. I'm going to cry if I have gained. I think I'll go on a fruit fast starting tomorrow. Oh, and about the ABC diet...... I still would really like to do it so maybe I'll just keep doing it and forget about these past two days.

I think the reason I have been comfort/binge eating recently could have to do with some of the drama going on in my life. Like how I had a boyfriend a month ago but then his cat died and he ignored me so I got mad and stopped answering his calls and now we are currently not speaking. It's really petty, I can see that, but I am just so over him and his immature ways. We are pretty much polar opposites and I've found that we have very little, if anything, in common. So, rant over.

The visions of a thigh gap and a flat stomach keep taunting me as I realize the mistake I have made. I don't need food to be happy. I don't need food to feel comfort. I don't need food except right before ballet and occasionally throughout the week. What I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't have to depend of food. Eat to live, don't live to eat. I will do better tomorrow. For your sake, for the sake of this blog and for a thinner future, where you actually will be able to call me skinny :)

~Good luck and Goodnight <3

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Temptations Taken Too Far

  Okay, today has not gone as well as possible. It hasn't really even gone well at all. I just looked in the mirror and it looks like there is a football in my stomach. AWESOME. Not. So lets recap....

The day started off iffy with half a banana and a few handfuls of nuts. I was not supposed to go over 400 calories today so everything must be small. Then at school they were selling lollipops which happens to be my favorite candy so I caved and bought three because for some reason I thought 150 calories was not so bad. I should have saved that for healthy food and not sugary candies. Then came home and had a jumble of things including 3 slices of buttermilk bread (300) which by the way is soooo addicting!! As well as one third of my brother's chocolate bar (157), spaghetti with three meatballs, chips and salsa, part of an orange, and milk with chocolate powder. That list seems SO much longer when I write it out! The upside to this binge is that it will get my metabolism up again so I'm not in starvation mode. That will be helpful for my 100 calorie limit tomorrow :) 

  I want to be skinny. If models can do it so can I. If fat people can lose weight so can I. I WILL be skinny. I WILL be thin! Posting some runway/model thinspo today because they must work really hard to be beautiful. Lets try and be as fierce as these models <3