Pre-Pointe Shoes

Hey people! Lately I have been working my ass off with ballet and school. The picture above is my pair of pre-pointe shoes that I got just a few hours ago :) I still have yet to sew on the elastic and ribbons but I thought I'd post a picture for you guys.....in case you're interested :P I can't go all the way up into full pointe (on my toes) in these shoes because they do not have all the support of an actual pointe shoe. Regardless, they're still freaking awesome and I am incredibly stoked to have gotten to this level :) Hopefully by September (2013) I'll be getting my first pair of ACTUAL pointe shoes!!

Okay, 'nuf said about that. Let's talk about weight. This morning I weighed myself and was 121.8 lbs. Directly after school and ballet I weighed myself again and was 121 exactly :) Now, this may seem to be a gain because I haven't posted in FOREVER, but actually it is a drop of two pounds since Sunday. When I last posted I was around 125 lbs because I had not weighed myself in a few days. The day after I posted I realized I was, in fact 125 and not 120 lbs (like I said on my blog). I'm actually pretty happy with the way things are going at the moment. I seem to have broken my incessant craving to eat and it's making it oh-so much easier.

To ease myself back into blogging I'll start by posting every other day. For now. I think, because I did not lose any weight for the entirety of the time I was blogging, I subconsciously thought there was some sort of a connection between weight-loss and blogging everyday. I really didn't want to go back to that so I cringed away form posting here. Just a hypothesis :P

I'm Alive!!!

Long time no blog! My life felt like it was missing something for a while because I didn't have access to my computer or internet :/ There are so many new things I want to share!

Reason for not blogging: I skipped a bunch of school which resulted in a confiscated computer and an iPod blocked from the internet (my dad is really good with computer technology and related stuff so I was kinda screwed.......).

Life Updates: I am now going to school only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Monday and Fridays I will study at home :) It is starting to really warm up where I live and I think that is helping to minimize all of the comfort-food cravings.

Weight-loss? FAIL. I am at 120 lbs right now........... Not on a diet. Oh, and that Russian Gymnast thing lasted about a day D:

My Plan: Not blogging has shown me something. Blogging every day tends to make me obsess over what I eat and that makes me stress, and THAT makes me eat (among other things). I think I'll blog less frequently now, but I'll make sure it is a minimum of once a week.....Most likely on a Friday :)

OhMyGawdICanSeeSummer!

Everyday Is The Same.

Why don't I have stronger will power? When I don't eat, I want food SO bad and then once I eat I regret it!! It's a vicious cycle and it hasn't gotten me anywhere near skinny. I remember when I was at my lowest weigh two years ago and I never really binged. Since then I have spiraled out of control and I need to get back there. I'm switching school for next year and I want to start over thin and confidant. I don't know whether to use negative or positive motivation.........I just need to be thin. Everything these days reminds me how I am failing at achieving this one. Simple. Goal. Lately my mom has even gotten thinner than me and it freaks me out how out of control this all is.

I think I'll leave it at that and hopefully I'll have something better to post tomorrow. After school is always my weakest point in the day and today it pretty much ruined me :( Good night <3 Thanks for all of your support!!

Chocolate and Valentine's Day

  

  Valentine's day. A day you absolutely hate or love. Personally I think there is just too much pink EVERYwhere today.....buuuut in the holiday spirit why not have some fun. 

  For me today wasn't much different from any normal Thursday. I think I have a boyfriend, but at the moment things are a bit confusing....lets just say we might get back together but nothing's set in stone at this point. Urgg. Also I have had quite a bit of sugar today....chocolate, cake, lollipop, cookie and a snickers bar. But not to worry, I shall fast tomorrow! 

  I am very proud of myself for posting everyday! Yay me! At first I was nervous it was going to be like a chore but I actually find it pretty fun. It's like writing in my journal and it helps me wind down at the end of the day. Hopefully sometime soon here I'll get some comments....I am itching to interact with the public!

  So. No school for me tomorrow so I will keep you all updated and stuff :) 

<3 Pink and Hearts! Or not... for those of you who abhor this holiday. I totally get that.

And for those of you who are pissed today......