Pre-Pointe Shoes

Hey people! Lately I have been working my ass off with ballet and school. The picture above is my pair of pre-pointe shoes that I got just a few hours ago :) I still have yet to sew on the elastic and ribbons but I thought I'd post a picture for you guys.....in case you're interested :P I can't go all the way up into full pointe (on my toes) in these shoes because they do not have all the support of an actual pointe shoe. Regardless, they're still freaking awesome and I am incredibly stoked to have gotten to this level :) Hopefully by September (2013) I'll be getting my first pair of ACTUAL pointe shoes!!

Okay, 'nuf said about that. Let's talk about weight. This morning I weighed myself and was 121.8 lbs. Directly after school and ballet I weighed myself again and was 121 exactly :) Now, this may seem to be a gain because I haven't posted in FOREVER, but actually it is a drop of two pounds since Sunday. When I last posted I was around 125 lbs because I had not weighed myself in a few days. The day after I posted I realized I was, in fact 125 and not 120 lbs (like I said on my blog). I'm actually pretty happy with the way things are going at the moment. I seem to have broken my incessant craving to eat and it's making it oh-so much easier.

To ease myself back into blogging I'll start by posting every other day. For now. I think, because I did not lose any weight for the entirety of the time I was blogging, I subconsciously thought there was some sort of a connection between weight-loss and blogging everyday. I really didn't want to go back to that so I cringed away form posting here. Just a hypothesis :P

A Belly Full of Cookies

  So I made chocolate chip cookies. Without the chocolate chips. And I eated them. FUCK. I am seriously getting scared about gaining weight. At this rate how can I not. FUCK. Excuse my french.

  Yesterday I caved after I had to eat dinner with the fam. My stomach is NOT feeling good today. In fact ......I look like I am having a baby. Nope. Sorry. Just a freaking FOOD BABY. Barf. Actually I don't purge......it kinda scares me and I hate the feeling of puking. No offense to those who do. Just my personal preference, but whatever floats your boat. I started freaking out today when I realized how giant my belly is. As a result there is now a towel over the full-length in my room. I REALLY NEED A SCAAAALLLEEEE!!!! Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow I will weigh myself.......I am so lazy -___-'.  I have a half plan on how I can possibly buy a scale without my mom noticing. So my brother's 13th birthday is on Tuesday and I still need to get something for him. Because I live about thirty minutes away from town my parents hate driving me anywhere except to school. Hopefully we can go to town tomorrow and I can buy something for my brother at Kmart or something.....I dunno. It doesn't matter where as long as they have video games and bathroom scales. Then I'll have to find a way to get her to go to some other store so I can buy the scale and shove it into my backpack. 

Oh. Wait. One tiny problem. IT'S FUCKING PRESIDENTS DAY TOMORROW!!!! Awesome.

Maybe stores like Kmart will still be open?

Whatevs.

Jealous much!!!