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Detox Diet

Today could definitely have gone a million times better, but it didn't. At this point I don't really have time to give up, so everyday is a new struggle. First thing this morning I binged which is a horrible way to start the day. It made me feel really sick for a while afterwards. I had a two hour ballet class in the afternoon so I got some exercise in :) Then, in an attempt to save the day I ate only a few bites of dinner and gave the rest to my little sister. Buuut then I had a bagel a bunch of tortilla chips after everyone went to bed. MY WEAKNESS.

I'm thinking tomorrow's food will only consist of fruits and veggies because all these starches and binge foods are really beginning to feel disgusting as they sit in my stomach and make me fat. I just want to be rid of them and I think I am actually quite a bit addicted to sugar, salt and starches. 

Today was the last day of SGD and I really don't think I tried as hard as I could have. Maybe if I actually stuck to it everyday I would have lost weight. I think sometimes I would lie to myself about the calories and really that doesn't make it better because that way I wont lose weight. I am so frustrating to myself at times. I feel like every time I post on here it is so describe another day of failure. That really needs to stop. Yeah. I need to step up my game because if I don't, nothing is going to change and that is what I'm afraid of.

Stay with me people. I'll struggle harder for you tomorrow <3

Everyday Is The Same.

Why don't I have stronger will power? When I don't eat, I want food SO bad and then once I eat I regret it!! It's a vicious cycle and it hasn't gotten me anywhere near skinny. I remember when I was at my lowest weigh two years ago and I never really binged. Since then I have spiraled out of control and I need to get back there. I'm switching school for next year and I want to start over thin and confidant. I don't know whether to use negative or positive motivation.........I just need to be thin. Everything these days reminds me how I am failing at achieving this one. Simple. Goal. Lately my mom has even gotten thinner than me and it freaks me out how out of control this all is.

I think I'll leave it at that and hopefully I'll have something better to post tomorrow. After school is always my weakest point in the day and today it pretty much ruined me :( Good night <3 Thanks for all of your support!!

ABC Day Two Randomness

  Success! Even if it has only been two days so far I am determined to complete this diet! Yesterday was a little tricky but I think I managed. Today I had ballet to burn off a bunch of calories. Speaking of which, we are  rehearsing for our spring show in May. We are going to dance Coppelia........If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, well neither did I one year ago when I first started ballet :P 

  

  So, let me tell you what I ate today. For breakfast I had one fried egg (90) on buttermilk bread (100). Pretty reasonable right? I thought so...... anywho. Didn't eat lunch (I never do XD) and for dinner I had about a cup of leftover spaghetti. I say "about" because I'm just to lazy to measure everything I eat. Heh. So that was going to be it...... but then I realized there was more cheesecake left and couldn't resist. Ahg! That stuff will be the death of me I swear!! It's just so damn amazing. So I think that goes a little over 500 calories but ballet can help with that. I also try to chew gum a lot because I eat for comfort so having something in my mouth distracts me. 

  I can't wait to weigh myself this weekend! I'm really excited and UBER nervous. I will be so crushed if I haven't lost anything. Gotta work harder!! Also I have this project due for my World History class on Friday. I think I'll devote tomorrow afternoon to finishing that last minute. I hate procrastinating but I sure am good at it. 

  Lately I have been reading Judith Marie's blog nonstop. When I find a good blog that is still active I like to read it from the very beginning so I have a lot of reading left. I have also gotten super addicted to the show Desperate Housewives which is a TV soap and I usually don't watch those but this one has caught me. So. Just a bit of random information about me :) Best of luck to anyone and everyone!

~Stay Strong People!!~