Chasing Perfection with Negative Calorie Foods

  Do you know the feeling that you'll never lose weight? When those ten pounds seem more like one hundred? When all you want to do is rip the fat from you body and become perfect? Well that's how I feel right now. But if I sit and think I will come to the conclusion that perfection is not that easy. Perfection takes hard work and everything you've got. Fat doesn't drip off of you in seconds or even days, not in this world. If perfection was that easy it wouldn't be worth so much. We always want what we can't have. That is why we will hurt ourselves and destroy ourselves to be perfect. If you achieved perfection would you be happy there? Based on our history we would search for something better, more beautiful and more tantalizing. But for now we will strive for perfection. The impossible. 

"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."

~Vince Lombardi

  Anyhow...... What I ate today: For breakfast I had one slice of buttermilk bread (100), I had half a banana (about 48) right before my two hour ballet class because DAMN is it brutal! Then came home and had more leftover spaghetti and three meatballs (360) at my mom's urging. I was supposed to stay bellow 300 calories today but alas I am terrified that my mom will get on my back about not eating. Trust me on this, when she nags she fucking NAGS. If you know what I mean. But I did exercise more today than yesterday because Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a modern dance class right before ballet and we always do 120 crunches and then hold a plank FOREVER! It's painful. Then I did two hours of my level 2 ballet class and felt like never moving again by the time it was over :) Don't get me wrong, I adore ballet but it takes all my energy to keep my technique towards the end of class.

  I am super proud of myself for posting everyday so far! I know I've said this before but it really does help me from binging and it keeps me super accountable. I've noticed with a lot of bloggers that whenever they have been absent a while their next post usually says something about how they were binging when away. I totally get this because on days (like this) when I have gone over my set calories I don't really want to tell you guys and let you down. Thanks to anyone who reads this! You are helping even if you don't realize it :) 

  Weight-wise I think I have definitely (hopefully!) lost some weight. Psyched for Saturday when I'll be weighing myself. Wish me luck!! 

  And now for those negative calorie foods! Most of you probably know about these but for those of you who are not sure what I talking about, let me elaborate. Negative calorie foods claim to use up more energy digesting than they contain. They are not entirely "negative" per say, but they are already low in calories and with the body digesting them they contribute even less calories. They fill your stomach with less calories per volume so they will help you lose weight. Hope this makes some sort of sense..... I found a list of "negative" calorie foods so here they are people :) Much luck to you all!!

Fruits

apple 

cranberries 

grapefruit 

lemon 

mango 

orange 

pineapple 

raspberries 

strawberries 

tangerine  

Vegetables

asparagus

beet

broccoli

cabbage (green)

carrot

cauliflower

celery

Chile peppers (hot)

cucumber

dandelion

endive

garden cress

garlic

green beans

lettuce

onion

papaya

radishes

spinach

turnip

And now some motivation!! <3

ABC Day Two Randomness

  Success! Even if it has only been two days so far I am determined to complete this diet! Yesterday was a little tricky but I think I managed. Today I had ballet to burn off a bunch of calories. Speaking of which, we are  rehearsing for our spring show in May. We are going to dance Coppelia........If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, well neither did I one year ago when I first started ballet :P 

  

  So, let me tell you what I ate today. For breakfast I had one fried egg (90) on buttermilk bread (100). Pretty reasonable right? I thought so...... anywho. Didn't eat lunch (I never do XD) and for dinner I had about a cup of leftover spaghetti. I say "about" because I'm just to lazy to measure everything I eat. Heh. So that was going to be it...... but then I realized there was more cheesecake left and couldn't resist. Ahg! That stuff will be the death of me I swear!! It's just so damn amazing. So I think that goes a little over 500 calories but ballet can help with that. I also try to chew gum a lot because I eat for comfort so having something in my mouth distracts me. 

  I can't wait to weigh myself this weekend! I'm really excited and UBER nervous. I will be so crushed if I haven't lost anything. Gotta work harder!! Also I have this project due for my World History class on Friday. I think I'll devote tomorrow afternoon to finishing that last minute. I hate procrastinating but I sure am good at it. 

  Lately I have been reading Judith Marie's blog nonstop. When I find a good blog that is still active I like to read it from the very beginning so I have a lot of reading left. I have also gotten super addicted to the show Desperate Housewives which is a TV soap and I usually don't watch those but this one has caught me. So. Just a bit of random information about me :) Best of luck to anyone and everyone!

~Stay Strong People!!~

Starving.

  I have been good. I haven't eaten a thing today. I plan on doing the same tomorrow and maybe the next day. I feel like maybe I can do this. Maybe I am strong enough. 

  I didn't hang out with my neighbor because my brother is sick so she can't come over and I couldn't go to her house because of the big meeting there. I woke up at like 12 pm and took a shower, painted my nails and watched Desperate Housewives (my guilty pleasure ^.^) My mom and dad just got back from the meeting...scared the shit out of me when  they knocked on my door. Hopefully I can get away with not eating dinner.........dreading that. No weigh-in today :( I'll try again in the morning. Damn I wish we had a scale!!

  I'll probably just go read  some blogs after this.......distract myself from food. I really need to stop binging and just get my act together. Wish me luck! Maybe I'll make some tea......

I <3 Hipbones

Fucking Blubber

  I feel like a WHALE. I can feel the gross fat rolls on my stomach. Uhg. Weighing myself in the morning. NOT looking forward to it. As you can probably guess...I ate like a mad man today. I was going to fast an I succeeded for the first half of the day....but then I started craving things and I couldn't resist so I was like "fuck it. I'll just fast tomorrow", which I ALWAYS say when I lose my willpower. So I will fast tomorrow I guess....and I'll update you guys on my weight. However, I dread the thought of gaining....binging sucks.

  Oh, my mom got home yesterday from a three week trip to Panama. I am always getting super annoyed at her because I feel like she just nags me nonstop. It was nice having a break from her...but now she's back and I need to find ways to not let her notice my lack of eating.
 
  Hopefully I am going to be hanging out with my neighbor tomorrow because a bunch of people are having a  meeting thing at her house. Let's hope for a good weight tomorrow morning!

I feel so gross right now! Blarg. Must do better tomorrow. Must be perfect. Must be thin. Good luck everyone!! <3

Cleaning. Everything.

  Lately I have started getting really pissed if I have to deal with a messy house or a messy room. I have become like supper O.C.D (obsessive compulsive disorder) and cleaned my room and did ALL of my laundry. It's quite nice actually....usually I'm just so laaazy.                                      

  So today so far I have eaten one apple cinnamon cereal bar (140) and way to many Bits crackers. Uhgg. Can't wait until Friday so I can fast in peace!
  Kinda just lazing around the house today because I didn't feel to hot this morning....BUT I am going to ballet because taking make up classes is just so bothersome. Meh. I should probably go beg my dad to drive me. Not really looking forward to that but it simply must be done sooooo.
  I am also going to be weighing myself every Saturday morning because my house doesn't have a GODDAMN SCALE!!! But my neighbor has one so I'll just pop over there and say hi and make up some reason for being there. Excuses, excuses.

  We can do it!! Wishing you all the best of luck <3          

                                                   

<3

Books and Food

  So. Today I would say I did better than yesterday... although I didn't stick to purely fruits and veggies. Rawr. I ate one apple with lemon juice because I hate when they get all mushy and gross after you cut them up. Then when I got home my dad was being all weird and kept telling me to eat my dinner and wouldn't stop nagging! Rawr again. So I ate it and it was about a half cup of brown rice, a piece of pork and some lettuce. Not so bad but still not what I said I was going to have.
   
  Today I woke up with a sore ankle and talked to my ballet teacher about it. I'm supposed to ice it and stretch it tonight....but this is really annoying because I was fine yesterday and it just came out of nowhere.

  Anywho. Yesterday I went to the library and they FINALLY had the book I requested in SEPTEMBER!! I is The Perks of Being a Wallflower if you were wondering. The movie just came out and I wanted to read the book first for once XD That's probably why so many people requested it.... duh. More good news! I have a four day weekend starting Friday for Presidents day. I WILL fast. It is much easier not to eat when I don't have to concentrate for school so I shall take advantage :)
  Good luck to all!! It's never to late to start people!
Stay Strong <3 Queue thinspo...kehehehe....

Motivation!

  Hey.... so first day of the fast went FANtastic. Didn't eat a single crumb and only had green tea and water. However...uhhh, well today I kinda crumbled and ate pizza and crackers. I know, I know. Never end a fast with a binge but I was so weak and shaky and I started doubting myself and questioning why I was even doing this in the first place. Of course now that I have eaten and have my head back on straight I regret it but oh well, I will do better tomorrow. Food plans for the next three days are exclusively fruits and veggies to give me strength for my two hour long ballet classes.

  On a brighter note, I beat my record time of fasting which was previously 36 hours without food. This time I managed about 43 hours until I went into a weird delirious state and ate evil carbs D: I seriously think I am addicted to bread and chips and other generally unhealthy foods and maybe I will go on a non-carb diet to refresh my taste buds.Yes. I should really do that before they completely rule my brain.

  I have almost finished the book Wintergirls, and so far I really like it and would recommend it to the readers of this blog...although I'm not sure if there are any at this point.... XD On Sunday I made a list of things I could do instead of eating and they really seemed to help and kept me busy for the majority of the day....I still need to find a way to refrain from food once I really get desperate because that is my flaw. So her are the distractions I came up with.... there are probably plenty more on the internet but here is my contribution:

• Paint Nails
• Shower (if you haven't already... and take your time!)
• Laundry (Make a goal to complete all of the laundry you are responsible for)
• Read (Wintergirls?)
• Jumping Jacks (I like to do them while watching thinspo. Much more motivating)
• Clean! (Your room, your kitchen, your house... etc.)
• Draw/Paint/Make art
• Do homework/Any paperwork 
• Brush/Floss teeth 
• At home spa (face mask, hair mask, soothing bath etc.)
• Exercise
• Drink water and green tea!!
• Take a Nap (gives you energy if you are fasting)
• Watch thinspo (don't forget why you are doing this. It is possible!!!)

  I'll try and post tomorrow or the next day. Hope this was helpful! Stay away from that food!!

~Persistence is key <3

Welcome!

   Hey, so because this is my first post I should probably say a little bit about myself. Cali isn't my real name... I can't risk someone I know finding this and realizing it's me so I looked around on this baby name site and found Cali XD It means "beautiful" I think, so that's cool I guess...Anywho. Today I am starting a water and green tea fast because I am just so dang tired of eating and then feeling like crap. I am going to fast for today (Sunday) and tomorrow and then Tues - Thurs only eat fruits and veggies because I have ballet classes those days and I need something to give me energy. Then back to water and green tea Fri - Mon. So stoked for my four day weekend! Some things I like to do are: read, draw, write, paint, watch thinspo and do ballet. Speaking of ballet, my teacher told me I might be able to start pointe work in the fall (I've only been taking ballet since last February and usually it takes two-three years before pointe). SO excited :)

  My inspiration for this blog was probably due to my sudden addiction to reading other thinspo blogs such as (Size) Zero Intentions which I read almost everyday now. I also started reading a book called Wintergirls because I heard it was good and someone posted it online for easy access :)
 
  I'll keep this blog updated on my progress at least every other day and tell you how my fast is going :)
Good luck to all and STAY STRONG <3
                                                     Yay for thinspo!