What to Say......

Hello everyone! I really don't know what to say after such a long absence. I'm sorry I stopped posting so suddenly :( I know exactly how it feels to wonder what happened to a blogger. Are they happy? Sad? Dying? .....Dead? I used to follow a girl who blogged every month or so. At first I wasn't too worried when she didn't post for a while, but as more and more months went by I began to wonder if she was okay. Her last post hadn't been all that cheerful either. All I could do was hope she was living her life maybe someday she would let us know how she was. 

I really didn't intend to leave for so long. I could see myself posting every few days for a long, long time. So when I say this was unexpected, I really mean it. I guess you could say I've changed, but I am always changing. I'm trying not to think too much about calories and fat percentages. For a while I just ate whatever and didn't even try to restrict. Dieting doesn't work for me, that much I know. I get way too obsessed with food when I diet and that just ends up causing me to eat more.

I believe I am currently still at 123 pounds. I am trying not to eat so much junk food and sugar. I exercise most days (sometimes it's just cleaning the house for my mom XD). I'm letting my schedule be more fluid, while at the same time making sure I fit in the necessary things. It seems to be working so far :P I love summer.

Just know, if I don't post, I am okay. I do want to continue this blog because there are so many supportive people here and sometimes I need to say things I can't say to anyone else. Hopefully I'll post tomorrow. I want to :) 

~Cali

Three Days, Three Pounds

I'm sure you can see from the title that I have lost three pounds as of today. That puts me back at 120 lbs, and I intend to lose more over the next few weeks. The weekends are the struggle. Recently, I have been losing weight during the week (Tue-Thur for me) and then putting it back on over the weekend due to sugary and unhealthy binge-foods. If I can get through these next four days doing just as good as the days I go to school and have ballet, then I'm sure I can be a lot lower by next week :)

Today I actually ate a little more than usual in an attempt at a scheduled binge. My aim was to speed up my metabolism and get it out of restriction mode, as well as to curb some cravings so they don't pop up over the weekend. I have a Pilates class first thing tomorrow morning and then I'll play some Just Dance :) I need to really distract myself because I'll be home all day and food will be so tempting. Wish me luck for the weekend :P

Guess What?

   

I GOT A SCALE!! Oh my gosh it's like a dream come true! I didn't think I could actually pull this off but I did and the scale is actually really nice looking :) It's glass, and the only thing that annoys me is that I have to take it into the bathroom with me to weigh myself because my room is fully carpeted. But then again it is WAY better than walking all the way to my neighbors house and awkwardly trying to find an excuse to use their bathroom :P

 Last night after I posted my mother told me she has a meeting a little after I get out of school. So I ended up waiting for her at the bakery/coffee shop place that is next to the drug store :) When she left I went over there and walked around the entire store AT LEAST 5 times before I asked an employee where to find bathroom scales. I was so close to freaking out and running out of there but I knew I probably would never get the chance to buy one again. I also bought a birthday card in case anyone asked why I was buying a scale I would tell them it was for my mother's birthday. Now I have a lame card in my backpack that I will never use. Meh.

I do believe I have done exceptionally well today given my past record of indulgence and lack of will power. I did have to eat dinner again because my dad was here. I'll try and get out of it tomorrow so I can have a 72 hour fast (we can do it Katy!!!!). I am very nervous. I really want to be near 110 lbs by April when I go back to school. 

Food:

• Pasta (130)
• Shrimp (71)
• Salad (11)
• Chocolate Soy Milk (181)

Total = 393 (OH YEAH BABY)                                                      Limit = 500 

Exercise = -33

Net = 360

'Night all you lovelies out there :) Thanks for reading!! <3

Tea, Tea and More Tea

I guzzled down so much tea today! I made a bunch yesterday and left it in the refrigerator because I like it cold better. Made a big jar of raspberry and a big jar of green and I finished them BOTH off. Whenever I go into the kitchen I get a cup and after a while there is no more :P 

Exercised again today. Did twenty minutes of a mellow ballet warm-up and then later told myself that if I wanted a burrito for dinner I had to do 120 crunches and the whole New York Ballet floor workout. Did my laundry in preparation for the week and finished homework. In fact, today was pretty productive and Sundays kind of set the tone for the week so that's definitely a good sign. I have a little bit of a stomach ache at the moment...........probably from eating that damn burrito. Ah well, makes me not want to binge like I used to do in the evenings :) I didn't eat all of my pre-made snacks because I sacrificed a few of them for a burrito and a bowl of cereal. Not my best moment but it's a wok in progress so it'll get better.

Food:

• 3 Kiwis (139)
• 1 Scrambled Egg (102)
• 1 Slice of Bread (110)
• 1/2 Cup Cantaloupe (27)
• 3 Oz Nonfat Greek Chobani Yogurt (70)
• 3/4 Cup 2% Milk (92)
• 1 Cup Hole 'n Oats Cereal (120)
• 1 Bean & Cheese Burrito (140)

Total = 800                                                   Limit = 650

Exercise = -263

Net = 537

So not too bad, but I'll have to do better tomorrow because my limit is 400. I have a make-up ballet class for an hour so that should help a little :) Best of luck to everyone! 3 followers Woohoo!! Yeah I know it's not a ton but it's something and it's fun to have people reading my blog.....hehe....it keeps me accountable :P

Books and Food

  So. Today I would say I did better than yesterday... although I didn't stick to purely fruits and veggies. Rawr. I ate one apple with lemon juice because I hate when they get all mushy and gross after you cut them up. Then when I got home my dad was being all weird and kept telling me to eat my dinner and wouldn't stop nagging! Rawr again. So I ate it and it was about a half cup of brown rice, a piece of pork and some lettuce. Not so bad but still not what I said I was going to have.
   
  Today I woke up with a sore ankle and talked to my ballet teacher about it. I'm supposed to ice it and stretch it tonight....but this is really annoying because I was fine yesterday and it just came out of nowhere.

  Anywho. Yesterday I went to the library and they FINALLY had the book I requested in SEPTEMBER!! I is The Perks of Being a Wallflower if you were wondering. The movie just came out and I wanted to read the book first for once XD That's probably why so many people requested it.... duh. More good news! I have a four day weekend starting Friday for Presidents day. I WILL fast. It is much easier not to eat when I don't have to concentrate for school so I shall take advantage :)
  Good luck to all!! It's never to late to start people!
Stay Strong <3 Queue thinspo...kehehehe....

Welcome!

   Hey, so because this is my first post I should probably say a little bit about myself. Cali isn't my real name... I can't risk someone I know finding this and realizing it's me so I looked around on this baby name site and found Cali XD It means "beautiful" I think, so that's cool I guess...Anywho. Today I am starting a water and green tea fast because I am just so dang tired of eating and then feeling like crap. I am going to fast for today (Sunday) and tomorrow and then Tues - Thurs only eat fruits and veggies because I have ballet classes those days and I need something to give me energy. Then back to water and green tea Fri - Mon. So stoked for my four day weekend! Some things I like to do are: read, draw, write, paint, watch thinspo and do ballet. Speaking of ballet, my teacher told me I might be able to start pointe work in the fall (I've only been taking ballet since last February and usually it takes two-three years before pointe). SO excited :)

  My inspiration for this blog was probably due to my sudden addiction to reading other thinspo blogs such as (Size) Zero Intentions which I read almost everyday now. I also started reading a book called Wintergirls because I heard it was good and someone posted it online for easy access :)
 
  I'll keep this blog updated on my progress at least every other day and tell you how my fast is going :)
Good luck to all and STAY STRONG <3
                                                     Yay for thinspo!